Keanu Reeves: Immortal

I'd be lying if I said I never noticed how Keanu Reeves hasn't seemed to age in the last fifteen years. But I'm more perplexed by the fact that he's received money in exchange for his acting since "Bram Stoker's Dracula". With all this Jon and Kate drama, my brain only has time for one Keanu Reeves mystery. But this YouTube video is pretty compelling. Does Keanu Reeves possess the secret of eternal life? And if so, how does a starring role in "The Lake House" compare to his time ruling the entire Frankish Empire? I mean, if I'd shaped the whole of Western Europe, I'd be a little bored waiting for Sandra Bullock to finish her closeups all day.

Keith Olbermann: Idiot

There's been a lot of huff and frumm (let's just assume that's an acceptable English turn of phrase) lately over the validity of the cable news channels. Fox News is a mouthpiece for the right. MSNBC is a mouthpiece for the left. CNN is a mouthpiece for Anderson Cooper's dreamy, dreamy lips. Even the White House has weighed in, trying to lock Fox News out of important interviews and other events because of the network's clear anti-Obama bias. But is the problem that a network ostensibly devoted to bringing its viewers the facts of the day has a Republican slant or that it has a slant at all? I'd say it's the latter. Sure, the mere act of editing the day's news to decide what's worthy of coverage automatically gives it a certain subjectivity, but any news network that devotes as much of its time to pure opinion programming as the cable channels do is doing a disservice to journalism. And yes, that goes equally for those on the opposite side of Fox. MSNBC's Keith Olbermann recently took a break from telling us all what a doody head Bill O'Reilly is to take a jab at CNN for being too objective. Olbermann seems to think it's not the job of a news network to inform its viewers but instead to tell them what to think about the news. "People now watch news on TV for elucidation and context and analysis," he told the Associated Press. "They have brought the facts with them, the way we used to bring TV dinners." A weird statement coming from a guy who once told Playboy magazine that Fox News is worse than Al Qaeda and the Ku Klux Klan. Apparently towing toeing nobody's line is less disdainful than towing toeing the line of the gasbags on the other side. Please take this into consideration when choosing which networks to watch. Also note the way Anderson Cooper's suits just seem to bend to the will of his aura. (Note: I am an avowed pinko commie liberal. Though I am consistently annoyed by others of my ilk.) More details here.

The Amateur Scientist Halloween Spooktacular!

Come, come, ye fans of spooky specters and devilish demons! It's Halloween, and we're regaling you with tales of horror and histrionics. Harden your ears, for they are about to be haunted by a story of childhood haunting, a legend of ghostly race relations, an interview with a professional ghost buster buster, a nightmare involving a severed hand, and a guide to raising the dead as provided by the experts at Yahoo Answers. Plus more! Is this trick or treat? Only a listen will tell you for sure!

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U.S. Strongly Opposed to Blasphemy Laws Maybe Sometimes

Responding to criticism over the United States' joining with Egypt in supporting a new, non-binding U.N. resolution calling for the outlawing of religious defamation in member states, Secretary of State Hilary Clinton came out fighting earlier this week. "Some claim that the best way to protect the freedom of religion is to implement so-called anti-defamation policies that would restrict freedom of expression and freedom of religion," she said. "I strongly disagree." Hey, that's great! Seeing as how the U.S. and much of the rest of the western world is based on the idea of free expression, it seems counter to human rights to outlaw any expression that might be offensive to a particular religion. But Clinton isn't on the U.N. Human Rights Council that supported the resolution in question. Assistant Secretary of State Michael Posner was. And what does he have to say about it? "...A resolution, broadly speaking, that talks about the defamation of a religion is a violation of free speech," he said. Whew! Hope he signed that thing in erasable ink! What's that? There's more? "There are limits to free expression and there are certainly concerns about people targeting individuals because of their religious belief..." he elaborated. Huh. So, people should be free to criticize religions but not individual religious people? Well, U.S. free expression policy can't possibly be more crystal clear than that. And by "crystal clear", of course, I mean "wishy washy". More details here.

"We're Going to Need a Bigger--GGHAAAAHHH GOD!!!"

So, a ten-foot great white shark caught off the coast of Queensland, Australia was found bitten almost in half by another great white shark. For one shark to bite another ten-foot shark in half, it would have to be about twenty feet long itself, only five feet shorter than the most terrifying imaginings of the author of "Jaws". Happy swimming, Aussies! More details here.

No Halloween

The British village of Pluckley has canceled Halloween this year. No, it's not because wayward demons will enter the pores of costumed children and cause them to perform bestial rituals. It's because of hooligans. Hooligans and rabble-rousers, I say! It seems Pluckley has a reputation for being quite haunted. Up to twelve different ghosts of varying ghostly stereotypes are thought to...live?...in the area, so the town becomes quite a tourist attraction at Halloween. They've tried to deal with the situation by hosting charity carnivals for the crowds, but all the excitement and rowdy behavior has just become too much for the sleepy community. They're advising any potential pilgrims only to stop by if they wish to sit down for "a quiet drink", as there's nothing much else to do in Pluckley but sit and drink quietly. Which is probably why all their ghosts are ass-sore alcoholics. More details here.

The Amateur Scientist Podcast: Jesse Thorn

Public radio's Jesse Thorn talks about his new web series "Put This On", a show for men who want to dress like grown ups. In the course of this freewheeling, semi-erotic conversation, Jesse busts myths about men's style, including myths about when it's appropriate to wear spats over your Air Jordans, when to slap on a tie (both bow and unbow), why you have time to dress well if you have time to make yourself not smell like poop, and just how amazing the graphics are on your 3DO.

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